A word or two about confidence

Mary McCarthy

As I get older, gain more experience about life, understand myself better, learn about the way I handle different situations, and I get into more and more situations where I’m saying things that people disagree with, there is one essential thing about confidence that I have learned.

Confidence is the active process of loving yourself through mistakes, trusting your emotional strength, and that, unlike arrogance, it is a humble recognition that you are not only grand and magnificent, but also equal to your fellow human.

You ever read back on something you wrote the day before, or a few weeks ago or just some time in your past, or you remember something you said, and you realize what a jerk face thing to say that was?

Or how about when no matter how nice you think may be, you find out there are people out there that just don’t like you? How could they not, you’re dripping honey and bursting sunshine, right?

Other times, you meet people that just take out the not dripping honey and bursting sunshine side of you, but rather razor blades and snark.

Selfies are form of self-love, self-reaffirmation, and self-validation. Not to mention, the 21st century rendition of self-portraits (a-la Van Gogh)

Other times you’ll meet people who will absolutely refuse to let you be kind to them despite you trying.

These are all examples of situations that have made me feel go into self-judgment. I’d feel guilty, stupid, want to rectify the situation but was not sure how…

In February, since I’ve been going through #SeLoFest15, I’ve been waking up every day with the clear intention that what I wanted was to be loving with myself every day. It meant different things on different days. On these days, it meant being kind to myself, and being forgiving. It meant pulling away from the situation and looking at the grand scheme of things. It meant asking myself “what will change because of this, and why and how?” it means asking myself the right questions so that I know that I’m making the best decision for myself, trusting that I will do that, and then calmly living day by day with the certainty that I have my own back, and that we all mess up occasionally, that evidence shows that I am loved truly, unconditionally, and by people that are good and contribute goodness to this world.

I remember the facts, instead of letting fear and doubt cloud my mind and heart.

I try to continue to be good to those I may have hurt, and from a distance, to those I have taken out of my life.

I urge you to do the same, whenever you’re beating yourself up about something. Rectify the situation, but from a place of love for everyone, including yourself.

All my love,