(SeLoFest17 Post: Day 7, click here for all prompts so far)
Usually I had all the blog prompts done ahead of time. But I needed to do day 6, and I didn’t do it when I was supposed to, then day 6 arrived and I got knocked over by life, so I took a day off.
But even then, self-love was a consistent practice. I did not let up. Everything I did was intentional. I can see my resolve, how I’m moving ahead, instead of seeing mistakes and “wrong turns”, I am remembering that there is no such thing as a wrong turn since there is no specific destination. Everything life ever does or pushes us towards, is just a culmination of decisions that have been made by us and everyone around us. We could never predict every choice, or control a situation.
There are code of conducts for certain aspects of life that we would like to fulfill, but when we’re doing things “our way”, as I am with this SeLoFest, sometimes the codes of conduct are thrown out the window and re-adapted.
So for today’s yesterday’s lesson, it’s sometimes about taking it easy, but not letting yourself off easily. Don’t be hard on yourself, but don’t let yourself slack off either. I have been trying to do everything with what I’ve called, productive ease. The way it works is, so long as I can do something, no matter how small, no mater how low I feel, my aim is to feel good, to do ok, to be productive and move forward no matter how tiny the step. I learned a couple of years ago, that sometimes you spend a long time feeling down, and suddenly you wake up with plenty of energy and want to catch up on everything you haven’t done, so you do not pace yourself, you exhaust yourself trying to do huge goals, get frustrated, and then never really get anywhere or end up dropping the idea out of frustration. Self-forgiveness is an important element of getting back up, dusting ourselves off and saying, “ok what am I going to do differently this time?”
I have been in those dark glooms where for a week all you want to do is sleep, not wake up or get up, and even if you did want to get up, there’s nothing to get up for, you don’t know what you would do anyway, and what is the point. So many people live in that life. So many people hate their live, and struggle, and they thing that is what life is, and will fight you if you try to tell them you can have a better life. People rather be unhappy then proven wrong, because sometimes it’s easier to admit that you’re wrong than that you have no control over a situation. Do I often mess up the schedule a bit? It seems more often than not, yes. However I keep doing things differently, and I keep trying. Because my life, as I have learned, is not about reaching a place so that I can do something, but rather learning that “doing something” is done every day, when I get back up and commit to my self-confidence and that of others.
The Prompt: what are some things you’re a little mad at yourself with lately, or frustrated? Anything you’ve been feeling a little bit of shame of embarrassment with?
The activity: Design a mandala (I strongly recommend doing this first) while repeating affirmations and positive phrases that are realistic and will help you let go of whatever it is that you’re holding back. Drawing mandalas can be a very meditative practice, as well as coloring them in. If you’d like, you can do a bunch of small ones instead of one large one. You can do two medium ones, and play around with filling them in and coloring. For an extra added layer of meditation, put some zen music in the background for you, maybe light some candles, do whatever relaxes you and can set the mood for you.
In your Journal: If you drew the mandala on another piece of paper, you can now paste it or otherwise include it in your art therapy journal. Date the page, and title each mandala.
A mandala I drew on a friend’s house a few years ago when we would constantly play with sidewalk chalk.