You ever realize that you’re making the right decision about something, and it feels good to be aware that you’re making that decision?
Or when you know that you’re making a decision because you actually (–gasp!–) learned from a past mistake? It’s like past, future, and present You are looking out for you.
Do you ever make so many good decisions that it all seems to be the universe conspiring for you? Serendipitous green traffic lights, randomly good aim, a whole lot of beauty bursting from life but also strategically made decisions based on all you have known and learned?
I have learned that this concept is what “growing up” feels like, and why adulthood stopped scaring me. It might sound like a lame fear, if you don’t really think about it.
But people are being told that their teen years are the best years of their life. And old age is a mystery to all but the old, who can’t seem to decide if they like it or not. (General consensus: It’s all in your perspective. Sssshhocked I am.)
And sure, there’s a wild rebellion in the teen years that makes it hard to let go sometimes. Being able to go absolutely bat-shit insane and all is justified because Puberty. (The kind of freedom that you only ever get again after either 1- Losing someone very close to you or b- being actually crazy.) You’re supposed to be pushing your limits, so people expect you to.
We think of adulthood and it represents this sort of rigidness. Box-like thinking. (Probably due to Success being an unofficial synonym to “adulthood” and Success is sold in boxes.) But here’s the kicker: There’s a point where we can get past that thinking, and we get permission to be and do more of what we want to do because I’m An Adult.
And that translates sometimes to eating coco puffs in the morning in front of classic Cartoon Network and sometimes it translates to saying no to something that sounds like a great idea, of learning to say yes even though it sounds like a terrible one. It translates into a hundred and one micro decisions and simple sweeping movements of letting go.
To me, anyway.
I try my best all the time. I try to make good decisions, ones that I can trust, ones that other people can trust. I try to be loyal, a good friend, and understanding of different views at all times. I have around me a network of people that I respect and are respected by different parts and groups of society so that I can try and remain as open-minded and fair and in my views.
And the fact that these people praise and respect me, has led me to all-in-all believe that I am not in fact delusional in my opinion of thinking that I’m a decent person that is trustworthy and worthy of affection in any manner.
And therefore, life doesn’t seem scary anymore. Because that means I get to get excited about bubbles, and animals, and still like Disney. I went through teenage hood, didn’t make a lot of ideal decisions in my 20’s, and yet, emotionally speaking in regards to how I feel about myself and others (which is -thee- most important thing to me because it is the determining factor of all decisions) I’m good right now.
So getting older? Isn’t scary. Being a teenager is nowhere near the best years of your life, though they are most definitely unique and once-in-a-lifetime so treasure them. Treasure them.
You’ll survive your 20’s.
You’ll survive all of it.
Just keep trying to make the right decisions, and then you’ll know that future you has your back too. It’s all about knowing that throughout everything, You’ve got your own back.
There are so many supposed ways of failing, but there are also tons more ways of succeeding.
Growing up and out just consists of keeping an open mind and be willing to learn. Learning is the language of evolution.
How can we evolve, if we aren’t willing to learn?
Anyway that’s what I was thinking about.
All my love,