Some of you may know (and may have even read!) the first edition of A Book Of Five. (Second edition coming soon!) and as follows you may already be familiar with how I feel about being special. It’s something that I developed somewhere in my life, that I always felt a little different from most people, resonating with the weird and the few. The thing with that is, I believe sometimes those of us who feel misunderstood use it as a shield; an excuse of why we’re misunderstood. “You’re just special, and that’s why others don’t understand you.” But instead of using it as a shield from the outside in, I was also shielding the world from me, and not in a good way. I was missing out on experiences and people under the victimhood of feeling “misunderstood” because I was so “unique”.
I was using the parts of me that I embraced as genuine and free and as an obstacle in not only celebrating who I was, but learning to communicate differently with different people and being more accessible to new friends and points of views. Not to mention, depriving the world of my own talents, empathy, and -yes– the more unique aspects that I was composed of. My own beliefs about who I was affected how I thought the world felt about me, and I thus pushed some people away.
So here’s the lesson in that: Sometimes the things that are hurting us about the way that others are treating us (in this aspect, I many times felt rejected/misunderstood/unheard) it is actually a reflection or a projection (like what I talked about yesterday) that makes it so that our interaction with people (or a person) is tainted with our insecurities. In this case, I was creating that illusion around me.
Once I got over it, I realized that I could still feel like I had qualities that were exclusive and particularities that I had to offer, without having to attach “and therefore I am misunderstood” to the end of it. Sometimes I will be misunderstood because different people have different ways of thinking, and that is a glorious beautiful thing. Instead of depriving myself of them, or them of me, or getting angry and recoiling within myself like it is somehow my “fault” that I wasn’t “able” to communicate I realized that misunderstandings are just an organic part of life and can be worked out so much more fluidly and in a way that will actually help us. Why waste any time finding fault when that does absolutely nothing constructive?
Reflect. Are you keeping people away, or pushing them back, because of a misunderstanding or limiting belief within you?