Detoxing: Ella’s Story

I received a story in my e-mail today that I felt was so appropriate for what we’ve been speaking about lately…Eliminating toxic people from your life and doing what needs to be done to take care of yourself. 

This story comes from Ella* who wanted to share her experiencing with eliminating people from her life. 

As she explained in her e-mail, Ella’s mother and sister are untreated mentally ill. Her twin sister is violent autistic, and was beating her up every day. Her mother would forget to save money for food, putting Ella in a situation where her and her sisters had no food for weeks at a time. Finally one day she contacted her grandmother, and after a complicated process, was able to move with her to Los Angeles along with her older sister.

The effect my mother and sister had on me was and will probably be the most negative and emotionally, mentally, and physically damaging experience. I came to my grandmother’s house obese due to not eating for long periods of time, the longest I have been without food is 28 days. My body was a wreck and my mind was too. Even in the safety of my grandmother’s house, I was angry, depressed, and [had not gone to school in four years].
My grandmother started taking care of my sister and I right away. She enrolled me in school, got me into therapy, and fed me. My grandmother gave me more love, education, and support in three years than I have ever gotten from my mother.
It took me a very long time to realize that toxins my mother and twin created should no longer affect me considering my mother and twin are no longer in my life. It took me a very long time to get better. I was cutting myself, angry at everything; I wasn’t motivated to do anything. I was a mess, which the toxic people in my life had created, they created this mess and I had no idea how to clean it up.

Ella then writes about how her grandmother said she had to be doing something with her life. Ella asked for a gym membership, not really sure why that’s what she felt would help, and it ended up being the best decision she could have made for herself.

I love my gym, I love working out and being active, I feel good, I feel healthy. I started at 265 pounds and I have lost 80 pounds in nine months. No program, no trainer, just desire.
From there I took myself off my antidepressants, the endorphins just piled up and medication was no longer necessary. My therapist went from once a week to [me no longer needing him].
My grades skyrocketed. I started doing really well in school, fron someone that had no background education, to someone who will be graduating on time from High School next year with a chance to be valedictorian. School became awesome.
I gained confidence, I learned to dream big and challenge myself, I started loving my life. Instead of sitting and calling hotlines afraid asking for it to just end, I actually started to love my life. From wanting to do nothing, now I want to do everything. Most importantly, I am happy and grateful.

Ella not only reached out within her own context to help save her and her older sister from the challenges they were facing with their family, but then had the initiative to look for a creative and different solution as a way to begin new habits in her life. 

And that is such an important step. Every day, try again, start something new. Not everything that works for others will work for you, you have to find your thing, your remedy. 

Ella did it with the help of her grandmother and older sister, but mostly she did it because she continues to make good decisions for herself every day. 

Tell me your story, what have you done to help you move forward? What’s your success story? 

All my love,
Maëlle

*Names have been changed 

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